Sunday, January 1, 2012

Do you know what I hate even MORE?

This post will be completely off topic, nothing to do with moving.  But, remember the "nosy neighbor" from my last post... well...

The movers came on Friday and we moved into the hotel.  We've been visiting the house each day and finishing up last minute tasks.  We were in the backyard today and noticed that a little plastic chest holding pool toys was missing.  Upon further investigation, we noticed that my lovely porch swing was  also missing from the storage shed.  Mystery! 

I quickly went over to "nosy neighbor's" home and knocked. She was in her pj's of course. (I swear this woman does not own a bra or jeans.)  

Me:  "Some stuff is missing from our house.  Did you see or hear anything?"

Her (looking shocked):  "No.  Not at all.  Nothing.  I'm so sorry."

Me:  "Hm.  Okay...  well thanks anyway."

Door closed.  Each of us then marched through our homes and out the back doors.  Me, to step on to the deck to peer over the fence into her backyard.  Her,  to run to her backyard and try to hide MY lovely porch swing behind her kid's picnic table.

I looked at Matt...  "There's my porch swing."  At about the same time, her sweet little six year old daughter saw me watching and announced with a huge grin... "We have a new swing!"

Matt stuck his head over the fence and politely asked for the swing back.
Luckily, this jogged her memory and she began spilling the "real" story... "the lady said that I could have it."

Nosy Neighbor's husband encouraged her to give us back the pilfered swing as she elaborated on her newly-remembered story... brown van, two ladies with mops, probably the maids, were dragging stuff to the street and told her to take what she wanted.

Matt mentioned the toy chest... "Oh, yea.  It's right here.  They said we could have that, too."  She then went on to describe in detail about the ladies in the van.  OMG... how could they do that? How awful?  The ladies in the brown van took our stuff and gave it to the neighbors!  

Matt and I went inside... me to fume and Matt to come up with a plan.  He decided it was time for a chat  mano a mano with Nosy Neighbor's hubby... divide and conquer.  He invited the gentleman into our home.  (I hid in the potty and eavesdropped like any good wife.)  I was so proud of Matt...

"I know you're a military man and I appeal to your honor."

"Before I call our maid company and raise hell, I want to make sure I have the whole story."

"I will need your wife to describe to the police exactly what she saw."

"I would never accuse anyone, but your wife did deny to my wife that she saw anything at all and now the story has changed."

"Could you please clarify exactly what happened to help us get to the bottom of this?"

Nosy Neighbor's husband was quite nice.  He vowed to get some answers and retreated. 

Matt and I checked to see what else was missing and a few minutes later the doorbell rang.
There was the red faced hubby, holding his cherubic toddler in his arms as his Wingman.  He was there to confess his wife's transgression.  She had, in fact, made a late night shopping trip to our backyard and he would like to beg our forgiveness. 

We asked about some of the other items and he vowed to search his home for any other "new" acquisitions.  Over the next half hour, random items began reappearing... a hammock swing, a patio umbrella and base.  (We told them they could keep the toy chest, which they did.)

After returning our property, he visited one more time to again apologize and to wish us well on our journey.

My wonderful Englishman handled it completely differently than I would have, but it was masterful and perfect.  With his trademark sarcasm, Matt's parting words to the poor schmuck next door...

"Next time, she raids someone's backyard, she might want to make sure the occupants have actually vacated."

So, not only is my neighbor nosy, but apparently she is a thief and a liar and not very good at either.



  1. I say thank God for your diplomatic husband because she deserved the police called on her!

  2. Omg! I remember reading this post!!! Craaaazy people!!!


Thanks for commenting. I love to hear from you!