Monday, September 23, 2013

And just like that...

And just like that, Jessica's visit has ended.
Ten wonderful days will never be enough, but I'm so incredibly thankful for every second.
It's such an odd dynamic, these short visits from my daughter.
Stressful, exciting, wonderful and soul nourishing.

As her arrival got closer, I got more and more wound up.
I was so tightly strung that I would burst into tears at the most random times for months before she arrived.  I think we waited way too long between visits.  Fifteen months is the longest I've ever gone between hugs and it was unbearable.

And then finally she was here!  I was once again complete.
I no longer held on to my phone as a lifeline and connection. 
If I wanted to know that she was okay, I just had to glance over at that gorgeous smile.
I laughed a little more freely and slept a little more deeply while she was so close.

We kept pretty busy.  Brunch to introduce her to our London friends.  BBC Proms in the Park.  Paris!
Charlie & the Chocolate Factory.  Pub Dinners.  London Scavenger Hunt.
But we also just spent a few days relaxing at home and doing nothing.
I tried not to feel guilty that we weren't filling every minute with London attractions,
but I think we both just needed to be together with nothing else happening.

We fell right back into normal patterns that we've been spent her lifetime developing.
I nagged.  She pushed my buttons.  There may have been some eye-rolling on both our parts.
We both spent time looking at our phones that we could have spent talking to each other instead.
We slept.  (Girl can sleep!)  Again, I tried not to feel guilty that every second wasn't spent intently focused on each other.  But, that's just not realistic, is it?

From the minute I spotted her walking through the doors of arrivals at Heathrow,
I felt like a clock the size of Big Ben had lodged itself in my heart.
Tick.  She's here!   Tock.  She's leaving soon.
Tick.  I can breathe!   Tock.  Only ten days.
Of course, they flew by.  She's now home in Texas living her life.
I'm here living mine, admittedly after a low few days of readjusting to her absence.

And there is a new quiet, steady ticking in my heart.
Tick.  She's not here.  Tock.  I'll see her soon.
Tick.  I can't breathe.  Tock.  Only 12 weeks.

I love you madly, Child of MIne!!!
I'll see you soon.



  1. that is such a lovely post Selena :) we can see how much you love her and you miss her. and trust me, she misses you too ;) even though you push each other buttons ;)

  2. This is such a sweet post to read this morning. This brought happy tears to my eyes.

  3. Don't know how you do it. I just have to have my family close. I'm sure you appreciate the visits though and as I have always said, it's quality time not quantity time! Loved seeing the pics of the two of you.

    Cindy Bee

  4. Your daughter looks exactly like you! it's crazy! Glad you had a great visit.

  5. How wonderful and heartfelt is this, my mom is not much one for words but I would like to think this is how she felt this summer having me home!

  6. Such a lovely post Selena! You two really could be sisters :) I think I asked you before but can't remember, will you be at TBEX in Dublin? Would love to meet you!

  7. So glad you guys had a great trip though! :)

  8. What a lovely post and what a lovely daughter. 12 weeks will whiz by.

  9. Well there's no mistaking whose daughter she is - the pair of you are identical! Glad you had such a wonderful time together.

  10. You seriously are twins! I'm sorry you are apart... perhaps the next visit will be close... does she have any desire to move to London? I hope you're ok... I've thought of you a lot... Tammy x

  11. Being a parent is letting your heart live outside your body... something like that! So sweet to see you two together. Hope the time flies by until the next visit. I can't even imagine - mine are still teenagers!

  12. I cannot get over how much alike y'all look! She's your mini-me :)
    And don't worry, twelve weeks will fly by x

  13. She is my little mini-me! Counting down the weeks!!

  14. Thanks so much, Tammy. I know you feel my pain with our adult kids being far away. Hugs!!!

  15. I could never deny my mini-me. Thanks so much for your sweet comment.

  16. She gets tired of hearing that sometimes. But you can certainly tell we're related.

  17. Thank you, Louise!! I'm counting down.

  18. Yes! I'm so excited to meet up with you!!

  19. Thanks, Bailie. We are always our mother's babies, no matter our age.

  20. Thanks, Cindy Bindy! I still can't believe she is 25! I look at her and still see that precocious little toddler.

  21. Thank you, Sarah Grace :) You know I was crying when I wrote it.

  22. Thanks, Anda. She will always be my Sugar Bear no matter how old she gets.


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