Starting 2017 with a Walk & a Word

I like to start the new year off with a walk and a good think.  I don’t really do New Year Resolutions. (It’s January so I can still talk about this stuff , right?) Not only am I never successful with resolutions, but I can’t even remember them come February. Last year at the encouragement of a few friends, I picked a Word for the Year. A word to guide and encourage. Something to focus on. They all expressed that this was a positive thing for them, that it made a difference. So I went for a walk on New Years Day in Folkestone to come up with my Word for 2017.

Last year I chose the word “Joy.” Such a positive, happy word, isn't it?  Joy.  It’s a good word and a good thing to focus on especially considering I was just coming out of a challenging year.

 

Joy   noun   A feeling of great pleasure and happiness.

It was a success. Not that I had a year full of pure joy. There were a few challenges as always. But I was regularly reminded to find the joy. And to appreciate it. The word stuck with me for the full twelve months and it made a difference. Oftentimes I found “joy” through gritted teeth. But I found it.

It’s that teeth gritting that led me to my word for 2017. My new word is “Control”.

Now that’s not such a happy little word, is it? Control. It makes me set my jaw and furrow my brows to just say it. Control. But stick with me here and I’ll explain how this word is going to be my positive and encouraging word for the upcoming year.

The word control can be either a noun or a verb. 

Control   noun   The power to influence or direct people's behavior or the course of events.

Control   verb   To determine the behavior or supervise the running of.

Those who know and love me will tell you that I have always had "control issues". (I can hear you rolling your eyes, Family.) I was a stubborn child from day one, which my father reminds me of regularly. I don’t so much see that as a character flaw (of course, I wouldn’t). My adult daughter will certainly confirm that I have control issues and my husband could write a book. (I’m sure he has notes somewhere.)

Okay, so you could probably say that control is my word every year. However, I’ve spent most of my time chasing Control the Noun. I spend way too much effort grasping for “the power to influence the behavior of others or change the course of events”. Two things that I actually have little to no control over. I’m pretty much powerless. This has led to me living a life of anxiety. I’m constantly worrying about things that I do not control. To a point that it affects my health and well-being.

So this year, I’m going to spend more time with Control the Verb. It’s taken me 50 years to come to the painful conclusion that I suck at self-control ::Cough. Slow Learner. Cough::  I spend so much time stressing about the things that I don’t control, but very little time actually controlling the one thing that I do control. Me. I control my actions (or not, as the case may be.)

I spend so much time in my head. Fretting. I really should be a better friend, daughter, wife, mother. I wish I was skinnier. If only I worked out or did yoga. I shouldn’t have had that last glass of wine. I really need to get caught up on the blog. The house needs a good clean. Probably should do laundry.  Wouldn’t it be great to volunteer at the animal shelter? I wish I read more often. I should really put this phone down and get to bed at a decent hour. I wish I was smarter. I wish I was more stylish. I wish I was healthier. I wish, I wish, I wish.

What do all of these things all have in common? These are all things that I can actually control. I’m sorry but it has to be said. Duh!

My control issues are terribly misguided. I can wish for these things until the cows come home, but until I exert some control, self-control, it’s not gonna happen.

I realize that this is all Adult 101 but it’s been a revelation for me. So my word for the year is Control. Control the Verb. “To determine the behaviour.” To determine MY behaviour. “To supervise the running of.” To supervise the running of MY life.  Not the lives of everyone else. (My daughter is giving me the slow clap right now.)

So let’s see how 2017 goes. I’m visualizing myself all in black, with 80’s hair and a black baseball cap, singing and dancing in formation... “Contro-ol. Now I’m all grown up.” I can already see a few little changes. Baby steps. 

I'd love to hear your thoughts on Control.  Is this something that you struggle with? What is your Word for 2017?

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