My Sweet Boys

So much has been going on since I last posted in early May.  I don't want to get into the details today, but a lot of changes have been happening. I feel like I'm now on the other side (literally and figuratively) so it's time to start blogging again! First things first, I want to show you my grandbabies.  I was in Texas in May for two giggle-filled weeks.  Of course, I took a gajillion photos because just look at those faces!

Happy 1st Birthday, Michael!!!

Look who's turning one year old today!!  My sweet grandson Michael is.  I can't believe it has been a year already.  He is the most gorgeous thing ever.  My sweet Booboo just melts my heart.  We chat on FaceTime and he always gives me the most beautiful smile.  

I can't even put into words what it feels like to be a grandma.  It's like my child Jessica is the most perfect prism.  My pure white love shines straight into her.  My love for Michael is the bright multi-colored light that shines from that prism.   It's all brightness and light and I feel it in my core. 

Sorry to get all deep, but it's just the most precious gift.  Thank you, Sugar Bear, for making me a Gigi.  Happy Birthday, Michael!  I love you both more than words can say.  And to think there is another sweet little boy in our future!!

Happy Birthday, Michael!  I love you!!!

Love, 

Gigi

Happy Thanksgiving from Texas

I'm in Texas for the first Thanksgiving in four years!  I'm only here for a week but I thought it was time for a family holiday and I needed to get my hands on that grandbaby of mine. I spent two days in Austin with my mom and step-dad, two days in New Braunfels with my dad and brother and the rest of the family.  Then I drove the six hours to Odessa in East Texas to visit Jessica, Johnny and Michael.  They just moved here a month ago for work and they're getting all settled into their new home.  

Jessica & John's Wedding Day

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving.

I can confirm that after three years it's still the hardest to get through as an expat.

And that's about all I can say about that through this turkey-sized lump in my throat.

Instead, I'm going to show you some photos from the girl-child's wedding day.

It may seem from the photos that there were only a few people there.

That's not the case, there were probably 80 people there.  It was a lovely crowd.

These are not professional or posed photographs.

These were taken by me, Matt and some by my mom.

There were professional photographers there and I can't wait to see what they came up with.

But, this is the wedding through my eyes and the last thing I was worried about

was capturing that perfect shot.

I simply wanted to experience this beautiful day.  Every sweet moment of it.

And like now, these faces were all usually seen through the blur of tears.

But, aren't they beautiful?

There are few things as precious as seeing your daughter in a wedding dress.

Jessica has only ever wanted to be a wife and mother.

For 18 years I tried to convince her of her calling...

to be a teacher, a nurse, a chef.

She will make a wonderful teacher, nurse or cook.

But, from the age of about three, no matter how much I pressed her,

she has only ever wanted to be a wife and mother.
She is now 26 and making her dreams come true.

To see this happen is an absolute joy.

I'm so proud of how she's gone about fulfilling her life's dream.

She waited until she knew she had the perfect partner for her.

We met John just days before the wedding, but we all fell in love with him immediately.

He's easy going with a huge heart and is madly in love with Jessica.

My mom has already claimed him as her grandson.

I'm also proud of the celebration that Jessica and John planned.

It was always about their future together and surrounding themselves with family and friends.

Typical Jessica, honest and straightforward.  No fuss or drama.

They weren't worried about a fancy party.  They just wanted to be married.

The ceremony and reception were at this old general store in Pleasanton, Texas.

Her bridesmaid was her cousin Rebecca, my brother's daughter.

She is as smart as she is beautiful.  You can see she gets it from my sweet sister-in-law Donna.

My momma, Linda.  I have great genes.  You should have seen her and my step-dad Bob on the dance floor.

I guess it was what you'd call a country wedding complete with boots and a branding iron.

Apparently, it's quite the thing.  Michaels and Hobby Lobby both have wedding sections

dedicated to burlap and mason jars.  It was adorable and perfect for Jessie & Johnny.

It's not a Texas wedding without some barbecue and iced tea.

Jessica did all of the flowers herself.  She would also make a fabulous florist.

She gets that skill honestly from her Grandpa Tom, her dad's dad who helped her with the flowers.

The cake was so good.  A friend of the groom's family did a wonderful job.

Jessica tragically lost her aunt Michelle just a few months ago.

Michelle was just 10 when Jess was born and they were always so close.  Unconditional love.

It was so bittersweet for her not to be there in person.  She was so excited for Jessica to get married.

Jessica found several ways to pay tribute to her aunt, including blue toenail polish.
Michelle's daughter, Carissa was at the wedding which was so special.

You'll have to excuse my puffy face, but I think I started crying on Sunday and carried through until the wedding on Wednesday.  But, they were absolutely tears of joy.

I could not have been happier for my sweet baby girl.

She deserves every happiness.

There were a few glitches.   Jessica and I were shopping (for wedding lingerie mind you)

when John texted a photo of his face with a big gash under his eye.

He'd run into some machinery at work.  Those wedding nerves.

Luckily, he was okay.  Then the day before the wedding as we were rushing around

decorating, Jessica dislocated her knee cap!

She's always had wonky joints and it had happened before about 10 years ago.

She spent most of her wedding day on crutches with an ice pack on her knee.

But, she didn't let it slow her down too much.

Her dress was so pretty, lacy and white, knee length so as to show of the boots.

Out behind the general store is this sprawling old live oak tree, which Texas is known for.

Also known as an evergreen oak it's the perfect guardian for sacred vows.

Under this live oak is where Jessica and John pledged to be Mr & Mrs Brymer.

Her dad gave her away, of course.  They've talked about this day since she was just a little thing.

That walk down the aisle was very long, but Jessica was determined not to use crutches.

Then it was all about John and Jessica.

Our family friend, Cassandra, conducted the loveliest wedding ceremony for them.

Simple, sweet and meaningful.  It was exactly what they wanted to say to each other.

As the sun set, Jessica wed John under that big oak tree.

It was one of the most beautiful and moving things I've every experienced.

Later on when we had a quiet minute together, I asked Jessica "What was your favorite moment?"

Her quick and easy answer.  "The ceremony.  Saying our vows."

I only had eyes for her.  She only had eyes for him.

Just as it should be.

You may now kiss your bride and let those dreams start coming true.

Then they danced.  And sang softly to each other.

They kissed again and again.

Family and friends celebrated all of the love.

Momma watched and cried and savored every second.

I was so very thankful to have Matthew there by my side through it all.

Jess even wore penguin socks under her boots because she knows Matt loves 'em.

This is the rest of my brother's family. My wonderful nephew Connor and cuddly niece Morgan.

My dad Gene was there which meant the world to all of us.
My dear friend Leann was there, as well as my sweet friend Paige with her mom, Karen and her boys.
I can't tell you how special it was to see Jess surrounded with such love.

John's family were terrific.  Jessica is an only child and now she's married into this great big family.  She now has three sisters & three brothers in law, six nieces and nephews (with one more on the way) not to mention John's parents and extended family and friends.

I love you, Sugar Bear.  You make the most beautiful bride.
You're going to be an incredible wife.

What's that you ask?  What was my favorite part of the day?

Seeing this look on your face. You've never looked more beautiful, Jessica.

Later in the evening, as everything was being cleared away,

my new son in law asked me to dance.

He said to me "She's the best thing that's ever happened to me."

All I could think was "me, too."

Happy Thanksgiving.  Cheers to love, light, family and friends.

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Oh, Christmas Tree

I'm back!  It wasn't planned but apparently I needed to step away from the blog.

My post planner has been screaming at me for over week, but I use post-it notes for my planned post

and they all just took a little march forward in the calendar so that I could take a breather.

I love this blog, but sometimes you just need a break, AmIright?

 Now I'm back to squeeze in a few more posts before Christmas.

This is my second Christmas since we moved and I was a bit nervous about the whole month of December.

I had a bit of a wobble over Thanksgiving with a bout of the Expat Holiday Blues.

But, I've recovered quite nicely.  (Thank you for your sweet comments.)

I told Matthew the other day that I've discovered the key to getting through Christmas
when you are far from family and friends.
Lowered Expectations!

I say that with tongue in cheek, but there is some wisdom in there.

Last year I was desperately grasping for the perfect London Christmas.
I ordered a big honkin' Christmas tree but after opening just a few boxes of ornaments
I couldn't get any further.  That massive bare Christmas tree sat there all Christmas taunting me.

So, this year I decided to go a little easier on myself.  No expectations of the perfect London Christmas. 
Just play it all by ear and proceed cautiously.  And I have to say, it's going well.

And we have the cutest Christmas Tree ever.

On a chilly Sunday afternoon, we were both feeling a bit "meh."

"Want to go get a tree?"  "I don't care.  Do you?"

We decided to just get it done and headed over to Greenwich Park to pick up a tree.

I immediately spotted a perfectly shaped four foot spruce and decided that was the one.

They wrapped it up, we put in in the back seat and were home in thirty minutes.

No drama and we were both starting to perk up.

We weren't really sure if we would decorate it right away but the tree shopping seemed to perk us both up.

We put on Christmas Vacation which always makes me laugh like crazy.

Matt quickly got to work stringing the lights and I started getting out the ornaments.

I love ornaments.  I've been collecting them for years and each one holds a special memory.

I keep a basket on the bookshelf and we fill it up as we travel.

So, we started with our 2013 collection remembering all of the great trips we've taken this year. 

Then I started opening the boxes containing the ornaments from previous years.

My ornament collection was one thing that I insisted that we bring with us when we moved.

And I'm so proud.  I was able to open every single box this year and it made me so happy.

So many wonderful memories going all the way back to when I was a little girl.

And it felt so good to put Jessica's ornaments on the tree.

Even though we can't be together for Christmas, this is a family tree and she is a huge part of it.

In fact, there were so many ornaments that they all don't fit on our cute little tree.

I just put the overflow into bowls and baskets on the coffee table.

I wanted to have them all out this year to remind me of so many blessings.

 I love our little tree and the first thing I do in the morning is to turn on those lights.
There is just something about a real tree.

Last year I shared some tips for getting through the holidays far from home.

They really are helping me get through this year.

And I've added one more tip... lower your expectations.

But, in a good way.

What are your tips for getting through the holidays far from loved ones?

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On being an Expat

I must admit I've been feeling a bit down lately.   I'm sure being sick has a lot to do with it.

But, I also have to admit that there are a few other things swirling around in this brain of

mine that are contributing to the rut I'm in.

As bloggers, we're pretty comfortable presenting a positive face to our readers and friends.

But, you know as well as I do that there is a whole other side to life.

Sick days.  Bad hair days.  Lonely days.  Bra-less days.

 I'm certain you don't want to read a post about them.

(And you certainly don't want photographs!) 

But, today I'm going to bare a little bit of my expat soul to you.  

  Apparently, Expatria has three evil stepsisters.  They are called Fear, Guilt and Melancholy.  

I didn't realize this before, but now I'm very well acquainted with them.

And let me just be blunt.  They are major bitches. 

So, I'm just going to call them out and expose them for what they are

My hope is that it will not only benefit me to get it off my chest,

but that maybe you can relate and not feel so alone on your bad days.  

I'm afraid that when I go home, everything will have changed so much that some connections and comforts will be lost forever. 

I'm sad because I miss my family and friends so much every day.  Some days it's almost unbearable. 

I feel guilty because I moved so far away from my daughter.  Children are supposed to leave the nest, not parents. 

I'm afraid that when I go home, everyone will think that I've changed too much and they will feel like they don't know me.  Or like me.

I'm sad because I spend so much time alone now. 

I feel guilty because I don't work hard enough to keep the connections strong with people that  love but live far away from. 

I'm afraid people think I'm an obnoxious braggart when I talk about traveling and that they don't realize how thankful I am for this time in my life.

I feel sad that friends and family don't know how much I love them and that I think about them all the time. 

I feel guilty because I don't know if I ever want to live in the US again.

I'm afraid that I'm going to get a phone call that will stop my heart and I won't be able to be where I need to be fast enough.

I'm afraid that the price I will have to pay for becoming an expat will be much higher than I expected.

I'm afraid that in spite of a wonderful life and numerous opportunities, I will never become the woman that I've always wanted to be. 

See.  Aren't they awful?   Fear is definitely the ringleader.  (Such a bitch.)

But, I've decided to stop giving them so much leeway and control over my life.

I shall use their powers for good instead of evil. 

These feelings are all very real to me.  I feel guilt.  I'm afraid.  I'm sometimes sad.

But, I don't really want them to go away.  They help me to remember what is important in life.

I'm also grateful. Happy. Content.  And I'm so excited by what the future holds.

How about you?  Any evil stepsisters lurking about and whispering dark secrets in your ear?

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Home Sweet Home

We are flying out today to begin our Baltic Sea Cruise Holiday.

Copenhagen, Tallin, St. Petersburg, Helsinki and Stockholm.  Pinch me, please!

We both love to cruise and we are so excited.  I can't wait to get back and tell you all about it.

(I just reluctantly removed about 12 exclamation points from this paragraph.)

You can follow along with the cruise on Instagram and Twitter,

but I can't promise that every photo won't be food, ocean or cobblestone.

You can also find me guest posting over on The Nectar Collective with Melyssa
where I'm sharing some travel tips.

I will be leaving you in good hands.  While I'm away I have some very special friends guest posting for me.

You're going to love them.  I certainly do.   

They are the people that have helped make London home for me.
I asked them to write about one simple question...
How has being an expat changed you?
You are going to love reading their responses! 

But, today I'm going to talk about the renting in London. Riveting stuff, I know.


During our moving process, I received several questions about the rental process in London.
Since we've been in London, we've had two short term lets and are now in our second long term lease. Today I'm sitting at my new desk and I'm going to share a bit about the process and share a few photos of our new place.   

Finding a place to live in London is a definite challenge.
And at times, the process completely sucks.  But it has to be done.  So here are some basics.  
It's kind of a long read and unless you are actually planning to rent in London
you may be bored to tears.  

Location

The hardest part is deciding where in London you want to live.  Kensington, Notting Hill, Wapping.  North of the river or south?  Which zone do you want to live in?  There is so much to consider.

Each neighborhood has it's own personality.  If you have the time, it's best to spend a day or two exploring an area to get a feel for it.  If not, you will have to rely on personal recommendations and online research. 

Transportation links has to be a major concern.  Getting across London can be a challenge and you don't want to have 3 hours of commuting to work each day.  That gets old very quickly.
 

 

Budget

Renting in London is so expensive.  It's crazy.  Be prepared to pay 3 or 4 times more than you are used to if your from Texas like me.   Most listings are stated at  £ per calendar week (pcw) so you have to take that amount and plug it into a formula for £ per calendar month (pcm).

Utilities are usually extra, as well as the television fees and the council tax which can be very expensive.  Most rentals required a 6 week deposit and first months rent up front.  There will also be administrative fees and inventory charges which are typically several hundred pounds.    

It's also important to consider what your money will get you.  This can vary greatly across London.  £2,000 a month in Nottinghill will get you something completely different than £2,000 in Bermondsey. 


 

Requirements

Before you start looking, you should know exactly what you want.  How many rooms?  Outdoor space? Do they allow pets?
 
Most London rentals are furnished or semi-furnished.  Which can be a good thing or a bad thing.  Be sure you know exactly what will be included.  We had to make just a few Ikea purchases to fill in the gaps.  

It's sometimes difficult to live with other peoples stuff.  You may lose out in the couch or bed lottery.  And often smaller things like kitchen wares and appliances are second hand items that you may just want to box up and hide away.
 
Be very specific and know which requirements are must haves and which things are negotiable.   The reason this is so important is because of the next item.  

Estate Agents

We started our search online.  But things move so fast that by the time you see a place online it's probably no longer available.   I recommend starting online, because it gives you a feel for what is available in a certain area.  But you can't really find a rental without going through an Estate Agent.  They are the gatekeepers of rentals in London.  And you either love them or hate them, depending on the day.

We registered with about 5 different agencies during our last search.  We knew where we wanted to live, how much we wanted to pay and what we were looking for.  Often no matter how many times we gave them this information, they wasted our time.  Scheduled meetings that turned into no shows.  Three hours looking at 4 places, none of which matched our criteria.  Some of them won't even talk to you until you tell them your income.  
 
One agent told us that we really didn't have time to view any properties, because they were going so fast.  We should just make our decision based on the listing photographs.  (Don't ever do that if you can help it.  It's amazing how different the reality can be from the listing.)

Searching

This process is really not much fun.  I was so over it by the time it was done.  Millions of phone calls and emails.  Appointments.   The agents all seem to drive clown cars.  It's impossible to be graceful when getting in or out.  Not to mention their crazy driving.  Most agent's cars have all sorts of dings on them.  Wear your seatbelt.

Typically, landords are looking for someone to move in within the next month, so you can't really even start the process until you are about ready to go.  Then you have a limited time to find something.  It's stressful and frustrating.  (I'm painting such a nice picture for you, aren't I?) 

The places that you are looking at are typically occupied.  I'm amazed at how some people live.  We saw some pretty gross places.  Dirty undies on the floor.  Dirty dishes. Whenever our old place was being shown I always made sure it was presentable.  Many people don't make the effort.  So you have to look past that sometimes.  The places will usually get a good professional clean before you move in.  When we saw this place we wanted to just move right in.
 
It's also really important to pay a lot of attention to the surrounding area.  How far is the nearest bus stop, tube station, grocery store and pub?  You know.  The important stuff.  

Offers

Once you find the right place, you do have to move really quickly.  We spent about 8 minutes in this place.  Made an offer within the hour.  The next morning the offer was accepted and we had about 5 hours to get all of our ducks in a row.  References, employment confirmation, funds transferred, three months of bank statements, standing orders, contract reviewed and signed.  It was a mad scramble.  Most leases are 12 months and a six month break clause is also common.  
 

Then is was time for a huge sigh and a cocktail.  We moved in a few weeks later not really even sure about the details of the place, since we'd only spent a few minutes looking around.  But I think we did good and I'm thankful to our Estate Agent Kate at Foxton's Blackheath.   We are getting settled in and it's starting to feel like home. 

What is your best tip for renting in London?

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