A weekend in Paris (Part 1)

Ma Maman.
Have ticket.  Will Travel.

Bonjour, Mes Amies!  Last Thursday, we joined Mom & Mr. B for their first trip to Paris via Eurostar!

I just love to travel by train.  We sat at a table for four so we were able to chat (the guys) and giggle (the girls).  By the time we were out of London we had made the five-car trek to the snack bar. I can't resist their toasted ham & cheese sandwiches with a little mini bottle of wine.

We arrived in Paris at dusk and headed to our hotel via the subway (Metro).  Riding in the Metro in Paris is an experience.  Not a good one, but it is an experience.  

Our hotel, the Ares Eiffel, was terrific... comfortable, clean rooms and friendly service. After dropping off our bags we went out for a stroll.  It was fun to turn a corner, point to our left

and surprise them with their first view of the Eiffel Tower all lit up. 

We purchased a two day bus pass for the open top tour bus.  It was expensive but we used it both days to get around and got our money's worth.  It was fun to ride around and people watch.  The audio-guide played French tunes between commentary which added to the flavor of the city. 

I know the bus tour may seem a little cheesy and touristy, but we find it a great way to squeeze the most into a weekend.  Especially on an initial visit to help you get your bearings in a new city.  It gives a good overview of all the major landmarks and then you can decide which areas you want to explore a little further.

(Just remember not to yell when you have your earplugs in.  

Not gonna mention any names. )

This is the Pont des Arts in front of the Institut de France.  Lovers attach a padlock to metal rails of the bridge and toss the key into the Siene to profess their undying love for each other.  Le sigh... so romantical!

Momma & Bob can now check Paris off of their list. 

It was a little cloudy on Saturday, but you can see the sun came out on Sunday.  It was beautiful, crisp Fall (Autumn) weather.  

And, of course, we had to get the quintessential tourist shot of my strong Mom holding up the tower.  

I was actually feeling a little under the weather over the weekend so didn't take as many pictures as usual.

(You know I'm sick when I don't want to even take pictures.)

But, I do have some more I will share with you over the next few days.

We just made the trek to Heathrow this morning

to drop them off as they head back to Texas.

Saying goodbye never gets easier, does it?

I'm feeling melancholy,

just piddling around the apartment that feels especially empty today.

Mom & Mr. B, I love you both dearly!

Thank you so much for visiting and making the past two weeks so much fun!!

I will miss you every day until we are together again.

I miss you already, Momma.

xoxo

Selena

I Spy Friday featuring Folkestone

I haven't posted all week and I feel so guilty.  Lazy blogger!  

But you know how sometimes you just want to retreat into a good book and disconnect from the world for awhile?  That's been me this week.  I haven't even picked up the camera.  But, today the sun is shining, we've had some good news and it's time for I Spy Friday!

Folkestone has again been home for the past month.  A few weeks ago, we were lucky enough to have a visit from some new friends I met through the blogging world.   Melizza from Pincushion Treats makes THE cutest clothes.  Mandy from Emm in London has been so sweet in welcoming me to my new life as an expat.  They both, along with their husbands made the trek down from London.  

I was so excited and dying to show them Folkestone.  But, the weather was NOT cooperating at all.  Shocker.   

 The skies were grey and the view of France across the channel was elusive.  The wind was cold, sharp and relentless.  They were such troopers as we dragged them through the elements.  

We visited the Battle of Britain War Monument and rode the old Victorian Leas Lift.  We viewed the white cliffs of Dover and explored along the coast to see the Martello Towers and the WWII bunkers.  And then we ducked into a Tea Room to get warm.  We ended down at the harbor for fish & chips.  The company was warm, even if the weather was cold.  It was a great day in spite of the English weather.  

I took a few pics that day, but instead I'll share the Folkestone that I so wanted to show them.  These photos were taken last summer during my first trip to England.  

Folkestone is a quaint little town in Kent on the Southern Coast of England.  Matt's childhood home is right on the cliffs and we are spoiled with the most gorgeous view of the channel, complete with France in the distance on a clear day.  It's perfect for a day trip from London (on a clear warm day, anyway).

The word for the week is "home", it seems.  

We've had an initial offer on the house in Texas.  It feels good to be moving forward and getting it sold.  But, I'm a little sad.  It was a great home where we spent our first year of marriage together.  There are so many good memories with family and friends in that house... holidays and pool parties.   I hold those memories especially dear since we've moved away. 

And we've found a new home in London.  Well, for a short while anyway.  It's another temporary lease that will take us through July.  It's the cutest little place in Kensington.  We move in next week.  It will feel good to get back to London.  And we're looking forward warmer weather and fun Summer activities.  

One of my favorite bloggers, Sarah at The Salad Days posted this post and haiku about "Home" today and what it means to her.   That needs to be embroidered onto a pillow, don't you think?

xoxo

Selena

Get out your mini-violins.

Growing up as a military brat meant that we moved every few years.  I was in the comfort of my family for the early moves, so life just went on.  But, the move to Texas the summer after 8^th grade was different.  My junior high friends had become as important to me as my core family.  And the move was so much more difficult. 

We were all settled into our new house and waiting for the new school year to start.  I’m sure it was magnified by the drama-hormones of a 13 year old, but I still vividly remember the feelings of isolation that I experienced that summer.    

I spent a lot of time alone in my room listening to records (I’m aging myself), gazing out the window and sighing dramatically, I'm sure.  My brother (aka my bubba) was younger (and cooler) and quickly made friends on the playground.  But, for an awkward, moody teenager like me, it wasn’t that easy.  

I’ve been thinking about that summer a lot since we’ve moved to England.  Suddenly, I am that young girl again and walking through a bustling neighborhood that feels completely deserted to me.   

It’s difficult to explain the feelings.  It’s not loneliness, but more a feeling of isolation.  

I have my husband who I absolutely adore by my side.  I have his parent’s love and support.  And I have the love of family and friends from afar that keep the feelings of loneliness away.  I have FaceTime, phone calls, emails and texts from home and the promise of visits coming up.   But, something major is certainly missing from my life right now.    

It’s about connections, isn’t it?  

I think some of the isolation comes from the lack of shared experiences.  When I speak to most of my family and friends at home, I can plug into what is happening in their world.   I am familiar with the context of their lives.  I know where they live, work and shop, and I know the people they love.  So, as they share the events of their daily lives, I get it.  

But, it feels weird to speak of what is happening in my life because the context is missing.  They don’t know what my surroundings look like or who the new people are in my life.  So, it isn’t as easy for them to plug in to my daily experiences.  My life has become foreign (pun intended).  

I often find myself seeing or doing something that I desperately wish I was sharing with someone I love back home.  It’s a regular thing to think “Sugar Bear would love this” or “We have to bring bubba n’ em here when they visit.”  (My inner voice has a southern twang, ya’ll.)

I miss being with my family who know me, know the life that made me and love me, even with my many quirks and flaws.  (I’m sure there is an official list somewhere.)   I miss the relaxed comfort of time with an old friend over a glass (or six) of wine.   I miss the shared inside jokes and the comfortable silences.  I miss the hugs and touches that I often took for granted.    

 I knew it was was coming and, as expected, 

I’m finding the isolation the hardest part of relocating.  

I am displaced.   

And I am spending way more time inside my own head than is healthy.

Yes, I chose to make this move.   And, yes, I am on an exciting adventure.  Please don't get me wrong, I am very happy and have no regrets.  This was the right move for us.  And I do feel silly when I whine about it and everyone rolls their eyes and grabs their mini-violins to play a sad song on my behalf.   

But, it is still an emotional journey and the feelings are real.    

Some days I experience profound sadness and  some days are really difficult.   

And there may or may not be days when my behavior would put any hormone addled teenager to shame.  

That lonely summer before 9^th grade quickly turned into one of the best times of my life as I entered high school.  The friendships that I soon made are still dear to me all these years later.   And I know that new friendships are in store for me here in England.   

But, no matter what new connections I make, 

I will always be thinking about the one’s that I am missing today.

Can't you hear the violins?

xoxo

Selena 

PS.   The picture was taken with my iPhone and tweaked via Instagram and iGoogle.

My Dear Juan Letter

Dear Tex-Mex,

This is so hard for me.  I never dreamed I would have to write this letter.  But, I just can't do this anymore.  I thought that we could make this long-distance thing work.  But, it's just too hard.  It's not you.  Please don't blame yourself.  It's just how life is sometimes.  

I've tried.  Oh, how I've tried.  I even went on a quest of sorts to stay connected to you.  I've been to the places you told me about.  I've connected with your "friends" here in London.  Last weekend, I even found myself visiting your '"Crazy Homies."  But, it was no good.  Even the two pomegranate margaritas could not hide the fact that something was still missing.  Queso!  Queso was missing and my heart broke all over again.  

And please don't blame this on my new expat friends.  They love you and they have been nothing but supportive.  They understand what we are going through.  They have even reminded me that I can find El Paso brand products at Tesco. 

I have another confession, Tex-Mex.  Please don't be angry.  Try to understand.  I've been spending some time with another new friend.  He's from India, but has lived in London for years.  We just met and it's nothing serious at all.  It's just... that he's trying to help me get through this.  I told him how you used to share a basket (or 8) of tortilla chips with me before dinner.  And I told him how much I loved the queso and salsa that you always made just for me.  I cried when I told him.  

The next night before dinner, he served me something called poppadoms.  He even included mango chutney and mint yogurt sauce.  He then served me something called Tandoori because he knew I was missing your fajitas.  For just a second, I almost forgot..  But, he is no you, Tex-Mex.  He is no you.  It's nothing, I'm sure.  I probably shouldn't have even mentioned it.  

So, you see.  I have to do this.  I have to say good-bye.  I have to end this now before it becomes unbearable.  I hope that someday you can forgive me.   And, who knows, Tex-Mex.  Life is crazy.  Maybe someday... some day in the distant future, we will pass each other on the street in some Texas town.  If and when that happens, Tex-Mex, I hope that we can smile, spend some time together... share a laugh.  You'll never know what you've meant to me.  I will never forget you.  

Love always,

Selena

Mind the Gap

When I met this action-adventure accountant, I knew that a move was likely in our future and here we are.  We are on an overnight Continental flight out of Houston to Heathrow.  We are at cruising altitude and the Captain has turned off the seat belt sign.  I’m in mid-step from my life in the US to my life in the UK. 

This has been a challenging experience.  We packed our life into boxes and suitcases. For the first time I can remember,  I have an empty key ring…  no job, no car, no home.  The only key that I have is the key necklace that Matt gave me for Christmas last year. 

Saying goodbye to family and friends was the hardest part of the move.  I’m not ready to blog about that other than to say as the day of departure came closer the lump in my throat became more and more difficult to breathe around. 

But, we are on our way.  We are stepping into a new life in England where we will unpack everything and rebuild... find jobs, a "flat" and get Tube passes.  I will acquire a whole new set of keys as we settle in on this side of the gap. 

Wish me luck, as I'm feeling a bit untethered at the moment.  

(Written January 4, 2012)

xoxo
Selena

How do you eat an elephant?

I’ve moved many times, so I’m not too overwhelmed by a relocation.  I see it as a chance to clean out the closets.  But this move is a whole different animal.  Once we made “the decision” and set the ball rolling, every day has involved a new item to complete and mark off of the mental checklist.   And each of those items involves 20+ steps. 

It started with giving notice at work and applying for my Spouse’s Visa.  It has progressed to sorting everything down to the last paperclip into piles for packing, shipping, tossing, giving or storing.  Selling the vehicles, listing the house, booking tickets, movers and storage units... the list seems endless.  And all of this while testing for the CPA exam and celebrating the holidays.  When I step back it does look overwhelming but I’m amazed how everything has come together (with a few glitches).   

I think Matt and I work pretty well together.  However, his packing method and mine are very different.  He packs a box like a Tetris game, assigns said box a number with a black sharpie and makes a list of the items included, which is then copied and filed.   I just toss the stuff in, tape it closed before it explodes and label it “stuff” with a tube of lipstick.  The solution to this is that we just don’t pack together… problem solved. 

Moving has been cited as one of the most stressful events in a marriage.  But, I’ve never felt closer to Matt.  Each day we accomplish the tasks for the day and make plans for the next phase.  And here we are, less than 10 days to go.  Everything is on schedule and we feel pretty good about what still needs to be done. 

When I first started saying aloud “I’m moving to London”, it felt so weird.  I said it with a perplexed look on my face and my inflection would go up at the end as if it was a question.   But, now the fact has sunk in… I’m moving to London.  And with that has also come the realization of what that means.   I’m extremely excited about what the future holds in England.  But every day includes another goodbye, some simple and some that are physically painful.  

Focusing on the logistics of the move and the things that I can control is often the solution to those moments of panic when I realize what I will be leaving behind.   There just aren’t any words to explain how that feels. 

So, we are eating the elephant the only way that you can… one bite at a time.   How does it taste?  Bittersweet.  

xoxo
Selena

The Goodbye's start today.

Matt & I are pretty compatible in our decision making.  We spend a lot of time considering and discussing.  It may seem some of our decisions are rash (we did get engaged within a month of meeting and were married in three months) but, I can assure you they are still well thought out and we stand by them.

When we made the decision to relocate to London, a million other decisions followed.  One of the toughest was what to do with our adorable rat terriers, Sugar and Mister.   After much consideration, we decided that taking them with us was not a good option, so we were left with finding them a home.

We sent out several feelers and knew (hoped) that this was another thing that would fall into place.  And it has.  A wonderful coworker has introduced us to a lovely retired couple.  They live on 4 acres in the Hill Country.  When we were visiting, they showed us a picture of their beloved rat terrier they recently lost to cancer.  She looked just like Sugar & Mister. They travel often in an RV and will take the pups everywhere they go.  We could not have asked for a better home for our wonderful animals.

We tell ourselves how lucky we are to have spent time with these loving animals.  We are so happy that they will be able to stay together.  We are thrilled to have found such a great home for them.  But, knowing this all in our heads, does not make our hearts ache less.

So, today is the first of many painful goodbyes.

"For there is a price ticket on everything that puts a whizz into life, and adventure follows the rule.  It's distressing, but there you are."  Leslie Charteris

xoxo

Selena